hellos. i decided to blog anyway... though im not too sure yet what i want to blog about... ok after 5 long minutes of thinking... i still dont know! wells, at least some of my biggest problems in life are solved now... im not giving details. ever. so dont try coming back to get the details... ive felt like killing myself, ive felt like dying, ive felt like crying, BUT IM STILL HERE... so... im stronger than i thought... probably from influence right? haha... sooner or later, im going to go crazy... watch for it... [i guess craziness was in me somewhere, and robyn discovered it!] i was wondering, what would happen when im sec3... its scary coming to think of it... sometimes i look forward to the next year, and sometimes i dont... this year so far has been going relatively well... the years come and go, veryveryveryveryvery fast... in the blink of an eye, we'd be 20... i cant imagine that!
ive just realised, that the piano pieces i played over the past few years... NO ONE HAS EVER PLAYED IN SCHOOL... some never even heard about it before... amazing... everyone's using the newest books, and i have been using old books... now as i sit here, listening to my pieces being played from the cd... i feel a sense of familiarity, and yet, i dont find them familiar... not as familiar as the ones that marianne has been continuously playing in school... SO MANY people know how to play that song, and i feel weird not knowing it, though i have gone through that grade... it just plain feels so weird...
what she said today really hit me. we only have like 3 months of practise before the concert... whats going to happen?! ohmy... im so scared... its fun being in a band... seriously, having fun meeting all the people in the band... making friends, having darrling juniors to teach... having angelic seniors... playing ensembles with other friends from other sections... but we also have to work hard, as every good thing comes at a price... its fun to hear many instruments being put together, in TOTAL harmony... and its even more fun to be a part of that harmony... its amazing how sections soften down to let the melodies be heard... and still remain audible... still remaining as a background music... its amazing how the melodies travel from one instrument to another... and how the sounds just match with each other... simply amazing... how a song can switch from one mood to another so quickly... how the sounds can create pictures in our minds... how an instrument can be associated with many things, all at once...
ive never ever felt this way before...
but now i do...
